Show No Fear (Rising Goddess Book 1) Read online

  Show No Fear

  Rising Goddess Book 1

  Tamara White

  © 2018 Tamara White

  All rights reserved.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

  Contents

  Show No Fear

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Afterword

  This book is dedicated to my muse, wherever you are out there. You pushed me to write this story, to get the voices in my head onto the page and now I have a story I am super amazed at. I never could have believed I would love my characters as much as I do in this book.

  And I also need to thank my editor for understanding that when I write shit, I really mean shift. It isn’t a beast turned into breast, but it’s still hilarious when it happens. Thanks for being my mind reader.

  Prologue

  "Stop it, Seth. You know I hate it when you discuss this with my parents. It’s not their decision. This is between the two of us," I growl, feeling annoyed that he decided to bring this subject up in front of them, yet again.

  We're on our way to dinner to celebrate my birthday and Seth, my mate, seems to feel that now is the time to bring up our baby making plans with my parents, much to my dismay. Don't get me wrong, I tell my mom everything, even when I found out that one of the men I was in love with was a wolf.

  Seth and I had been out hunting on the outskirts of my parents’ property. We’d recently had several of our cattle killed and my parents suspected a coyote. Then, when one of my favorite calves was killed, I decided to take action. Armed with a gun and with Seth by my side, we went out looking. I, however, was not expecting to come across a wolf.

  I aimed my rifle at the creature, intending to shoot him so he wouldn’t harm any of our livestock. Seth saw what I was planning and pushed my gun to the side right as I fired, making me miss the wolf entirely.

  I turned on him in anger, demanding to know why he made me miss the shot. That’s when he tried to explain that the wolf I was aiming at was actually my other lover, his brother Drew, but I just thought he had lost his goddamn mind. Well, that was until he decided to prove it by shifting right in front of me.

  I may have overreacted a bit. And by a bit, I mean I shot him out of fear. But in my defense, it’s not every day your boyfriend shifts into a wolf in front of you.

  As soon as I realized what I did, I panicked. I dropped my rifle and ran back to the house, calling for my mother, who happened to be a nurse turned veterinarian. I had no idea what to do for Seth but knew she would. Together, we hurried back to the spot in the woods where I left Seth. He was still there in wolf form, but was no longer alone. His brother Drew, my other boyfriend, was there too. He was completely naked, much to my surprise. I watched, frozen in shock as he ran a hand down Seth’s fur. A moment later, my boyfriend turned back from beast to man.

  I expected my mom to be as shocked by his transformation as I was, but instead she just went to work like everything was perfectly normal, like she hadn’t just seen Seth change and wasn’t bothered by the fact that he and Drew were completely naked.

  It was that night I discovered my parents had known exactly what Seth and Drew were, even before we started dating. Apparently the reason my parents knew about their second natures was because I wasn’t human either. According to them, my parents had adopted me from a werewolf pack.

  They explained that I was born without the shifting gene. My biological parents, who already had four other children between them from previous relationships that were able to shift, knew my life would be hell living in a pack of shifters. Because of my inability to shift, I would have been constantly under threat of attacks from those who considered me weak. Because of this, my parents had planned to just abandon me on a church doorstep, hoping that a nice human family would accept me. But then they saw my parents walking past them as they made their way to the church. My mother had been crying over the recent loss of her own child.

  I don't know the full details of what happened because my mother never liked talking about it, and I never pressed the issue. I knew she loved me, hell that was obvious based on the fact she was willing to raise a child not even of her own species.

  After seeing them, my biological parents approached. They told my adoptive parents all about me, and why they were giving me up. When they first told me, I was a little angry to learn my biological parents gave me up simply because I couldn't shift into the form they did. But later I realized that if they hadn't given me up, I never would have gone to live with my parents, who raised me with love and kindness, and I never would have met my mates.

  Seth reaches over and grips my hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze which pulls me from my thoughts. "Kat, we need to talk about this. We keep riding out your heat, but it’s only a matter of time before a condom breaks or something. Then we’ll have no choice. I know you don't want your heat to be the reason we have a child, but there is no better time for it than now. We put college off so we could get pregnant, but you keep putting it on hold, insisting we use condoms and saying that it wasn’t the right time, even though you and I both know a wolf only goes into heat when they are ready.”

  “Physically ready and mentally ready are hardly the same thing!” I snap, wishing that Drew were still around to intervene. But then I immediately curse myself for that thought, and for still wanting that selfish ass.

  Seth sighs sadly as if he can tell where my thoughts just went, and I hate myself for it. Seth always approved of me dating Drew, even before I found out what they were. After that big revelation, they informed me that they were both my mates. They explained that it happened sometimes, that a female would have more than one mate, which is why they were okay with me dating both of them.

  “I know this is hard, what with everything that happened with Drew last year, but this is now. You had been so willing for us to start a family when Drew was with us, but then the moment he’s gone, because of his own stupidity I might add, suddenly you’re hesitant. Is it that you don’t feel I’m worthy of having a child with you? Do you think that my damn brother, the Alpha, is the only one good enough for you?”

  I don’t answer for a long moment, because while I don’t think he’s unworthy like he claims, he’s not exactly wrong about how I feel otherwise. It’s not that I don’t want to have his child, because I do. It’s just that
ever since I sent Drew away, it feels like I’m no longer complete. And while it’s not fair to Seth, especially since I told him I would be fully invested in us, I can’t help the way I feel.

  Finally I speak, my words ringing with nothing but truth. “I just want more time. I just turned twenty today. Doesn’t that seem too young to be having a child?”

  “Females in our packs usually have had their first child by the age of seventeen, Kat. We’ve told you that before. Hell, your own birth mother was only twenty-one when she had you, her fifth child.

  “What it all comes down to for me is that this is our life. We put off college for two years so we could have our first child, which would ensure the continuation of our line and strengthen our pack. And after everything that happened with Drew, I refrained from pushing, but we’re out of time now. Your heat will start again in a week, and we will be going to college in six months. We have no idea how long a pregnancy will last for you. Being born of Alphas, it could only be six months, but since you can’t shift, it might be closer to the length of a normal human pregnancy. I just don’t want you to be forced to drop out of college because you’re unable to handle the stress of a shifter pregnancy on top of all your classes.

  “We need to talk about this and stop dodging around the subject, because whether we like it or not, it will happen; it's just a matter of when. I just think you would want to have at least some say in the timing of it. And since you tell your mother everything anyway, it made sense to mention it with them around. Besides, whatever you say to your mother, she will tell me anyway because I am your mate. It’s my job to look after you, and taking care of your worries is part of that.”

  I grind my teeth at the reminder that my mother likes to relay my concerns back to him. I don't know why she does, but it’s been that way ever since he revealed himself to me. Actually, even before that, they were thick as thieves.

  It used to unnerve me and I'll admit to having a wandering thought that he liked my mother more than me. But when I relayed those worries to him, he explained that’s just how things worked in a pack. The male is expected talk to the female’s parents to ensure they are okay with the mating. After that, they’re still supposed to check in frequently to make sure that the female is being well taken care of.

  After that I grilled him, wanting to learn everything about pack life. Finally he told me to talk to Drew, his brother, my other lover and the new Alpha of their pack. I did as he suggested, but that's when our relationships started to become strained.

  I started spending most of my time with Drew while he taught me everything I could ever want to know about the packs. Seth and I still had our dates and did MMA training together, but even I could see that most of my time was taken up by school and Drew’s lessons, and that I was spending less and less time with Seth.

  Drew wanted me to be able to integrate into his pack easily, which is part of why he was so insistent on teaching me everything. But despite all the time I spent with him, he started to become jealous of the attention I’d show to Seth. I needed to find the balance that would work for all of us, but that all went out the window when a heat cycle struck and I ended up doing something I couldn’t take back. I let Drew claim me, marking me so all other wolves knew I was mated.

  When I told Seth about it, though, he didn’t seem angry. It was the weirdest thing, like he seemed to expect it would happen for some reason. That’s when he explained to me the true nature of our relationship, claiming that while yes, he believed I was his mate, possibly one of many out there, he knew for a fact Drew was my true mate.

  A true mate is one who was chosen for you by whatever fates existed in the world. Any other mates you had were selected more by your wolf, who would sense their compatibility as a partner. Hearing that made me a little worried. It was complicated enough dating two men I thought were human, but to learn one of them was my true mate while the other was just a regular mate made me wonder what that meant for the future of our relationship. Seth assured me there was nothing to be afraid of, though. That both he and his brother cared for me and would do anything to make me happy.

  However, that wasn’t meant to be because the moment I let Seth claim me, Drew turned jealous. No matter how hard I worked to split my time between them evenly, it was like Drew suddenly couldn't handle the fact I was with both of them.

  Then one night, he finally snapped and demanded that I choose between them. I begged him not to make me, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. And so I chose to stay with Seth. I loved Drew with all my heart, but I knew he wasn’t someone I could be with in the long term, given the situation. He was jealous of his own brother and I couldn’t be with him if I’d be dealing with that for the rest of my life. And if I had chosen him over Seth, then where would that leave Seth? Drew would have made his life hell, rubbing in the fact that he was with me and refusing to let him go back to the pack.

  After I chose him, Seth surprised me by saying he wouldn’t ever go back to his brother’s pack regardless. He had decided that being with me was worth staying away from his own kind. I loved him so much for that, which is just another reason I can’t help but feel like crap to be denying him the child he wants so badly.

  "Katie-girl, let’s just drop it, okay? If you two argue in the car, Seth’s wolf is going to get all riled up. Then I’d have to pull over so he can shift and run to burn off his energy, and we have reservations tonight. You wouldn’t want to be late for your own birthday dinner, would you?"

  I slump in my seat, feeling frustrated that my dad cut our argument short. I’m about to retort, but then I see something dart out onto the road in front of us. I cry out, "Dad, watch out!"

  His gaze had been on me in the rear-view mirror, but at my cry he turns his focus back on the road. He spins the wheel quickly to dodge the deer that had bounded out onto the rain-soaked road. Swerving, however, leads the car down over the edge of a cliff, taking us with it. My head hits the roof of the car and then blackness takes over.

  I wake up sometime later in a sterile white room, my nose burning from the too strong scent of lemon disinfectant. As I take in the walls with the one lonely picture of a tranquil seascape, I realize I’m in hospital. In fact, it’s the same one I used to go to with Dad in order to pick Mom up from her shifts. But as for why I’m here now, that I don’t understand. The last thing I remember is getting in the car, ready to go to dinner.

  I groan and sit up. My head throbs with pain, but I ignore it as I take stock of myself, trying to figure out what happened. I’m in a hospital bed with an IV drip giving me fluids, but not much hurts apart from my head and chest. I feel an intense pain in my heart and reach up to rub my chest, wondering if I had a stroke. That can cause memory loss, right?

  Tears of frustration well in my eyes as I continue to rub my chest, trying to ease the growing pain. It feels like I’m missing an integral part of myself, the agony excruciating, but I can’t figure out what it is...

  I hear a door open and I look up. My heart races when a man comes into the room, his head bowed. I smile in relief. Even through my tears I’d recognize him anywhere. "Oh thank God, Seth. I have no idea why I'm here. What happened?" The words all come out in a rush. I’m so relieved to see him, but when he lifts his head, I realize it’s not actually Seth.

  Those piercing hazel eyes stare at me with a pain so deep that I know something's wrong.

  "Drew?" I ask in confusion, my heart hammering in fear. He hasn't been around since I chose Seth, so I don't understand what he’s doing here now. And where is Seth?

  "Can you please get Seth? Or my parents? I need to know what's going on. I can't remember anything after getting in the car." I frown, trying to remember, but stop when a sudden burst of pain pierces my skull.

  "Katie..." His voice breaks and I can hear the anguish in his voice. "I am so sorry Katie, so fucking sorry."

  Is he apologizing for making me choose between Seth and him? I wave it off. "It's okay. It probably would have come to me
choosing one of you eventually.

  “Where is Seth? Can you tell him I'm awake? Please, Drew? My heart really hurts and I just need to see him," I beg, my eyes pleading. Why isn’t he moving? Can he not see that I need Seth?

  "I can't, Katie. I can't get him for you because there was an accident. The car went over a cliff. Your parents died when the car hit the ground below. You were dying, so Seth had to make a choice. Save himself, or give you his energy and let you live..."

  I blink rapidly, unable to process his words. My parents are dead? Even though he said it in a soothing tone, the words still break me. In that moment, I need Seth more than ever, but then I realize what Drew is trying to tell me.

  "No," I gasp, clutching a hand over my mouth. "No! You're lying to me!” I scream at him as tears run down my face, his words finally sinking in.

  He reaches my bed in three quick strides and climbs in beside me, offering me comfort. Sobs take over, my whole frame shuddering as grief hits me hard.

  I rub my chest, trying to soothe a pain I now know won’t be going away. I know Drew’s telling the truth because Seth told me that when a wolf loses a mate, they feel the pain on a soul-deep level. Knowing I’ve lost my mate, I sob in Drew's arms until unconsciousness overtakes me.